that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize