Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
