Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
