so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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