Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize