I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
