My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize