you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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