He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
