It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
