He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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