i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
