just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
