Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
