There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
