I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
