He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
