Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
