remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i used baking grease as lip gloss
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
