Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we're so committed to being not committed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
