I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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