So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize