playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
