I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
someone owes me an orgasm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
