And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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