I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize