Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You smell like stripper and shame
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
