If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
