Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
