God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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