The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
