dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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