your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
