Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
