If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
