ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
