i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
