Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
