Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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