I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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