areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My life is pants optional.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
