STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
