Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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