In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize