this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
