Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
