how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize