I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
