His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
