so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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