It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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