he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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