you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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