Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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