you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
