Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize