I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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