You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
